A battery trick they don't want you to know......forward to your friends!

Joe, I am not sure I want to try this,
but it is interesting.

A battery trick they don't want you to know......
I am going to kill that energizer bunny for not telling us all this
sooner.  A little AA battery trick they don't want you to
know...Who knew about this and didn't say anything?
Need  AA batteries?  Then all you kids, parents and
grandparents need to watch this one. 

Memorial Rock Dedicated to Our Military

Hey Dad,

We saw this rock being pulled behind a pick-up truck last week on I-35 South near the Oklahoma Kansas border.  On the back it said "Dedicated 14 April, May or June 2011, couldn't read the whole thing since straps and cardboard were covering it.  We had to take a picture with my iPhone as we pulled-up next to it going about 75mph.  The guy driving the truck looked to be Vietnam vintage and had a Marine Corps sticker on his rear window.  Pics came out pretty good for that speed, of course it is all about relative motion.  Not sure where this rock was going but it was pretty cool to see the American spirit in the heart of the midwest.

Love Joe

Enduring Eagle

Dear Joe,

For all the beautiful nature pictures I've sent you, these top them all. These are gorgeous pictures and together tell a very cool story. I wonder where this was? I heard the eagle population is growing again in many states.

Love,

Dad

---

Not only great pictures but a great comment at the end!

The fellow sitting on the tailgate of his pickup truck never realized the show he was missing.

Adam & Eve's Pets

Dear Joe,
There are dog people and cat people in the world. We are definitely dog people.
Love,
Dad

---

Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'

And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.'

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal and God was pleased.

Replica of Noah's Ark

Dear Joe,

I don't know what to write except that this is awesome! Can you believe this man built the arc to the exact scale given in the Bible?

Love,

Dad

---

Working Replica of Noah's Ark opened In Schagen, Netherlands

The massive central door in the side of Noah's Ark was opened and the first crowd of curious townsfolk beheld the wonder. This replica of the biblical Ark was built by Dutch Creationist Johan Huibers as a testament to his faith in the literal truth of the Bible.

Whiskey Speech

Dear Joe,
Now this man is a true politician.
Love,
Dad

Battle Hymn of the Republic

Dear Joe,
This is a very moving narration by the late Orson Welles. The clip is well worth watching.

Love,

Dad

Lutheran Airlines

Dear Joe,
This is really funny, even if you are not Lutheran or from Minnesota. Pass it around and see what your friends think.
Love,
Dad

Baby Moose in Sprinkler

Dear Joe,
Make sure the kiddos see this video. If you listen really close in the audio you can hear the woman who is recording this trying to keep her kids quiet in the background so as not to frighten the moose and chase them away.

Love,

Dad

Tsunami from Street Level

Dear Joe,
This is amazing yet so tragic. The video puts perspective on the water force/damage.
Love,
Dad

Daylight Savings Time

Dear Joe,
From my friend in Argentina, I couldnt agree more. Go Bull Dogs!!!

Love,

Dad

You Picked A Fine Time to Lead Us

Dear Joe,
I predict this song will be a new number one on the pop charts.
Love,
Dad

God Created Children

Dear Joe,
I know you have just spent several hours cooped up in the car with the kiddos. I thought you might get a chuckle out of this. Enjoy the beach!
Love,
Dad

---

God Created Children (and Grandchildren in the process)

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own,
grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students ... here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

Don't Stretch After Jogging

Dear Joe,
Mom is always scolding me to stretch after my walk. Should I show her this as a reason not to?
Love,
Dad

Funny GPS Commercial

Dear Joe,
I agree that this should have been a Super Bowl commercial. Who thinks these commercials up?
Love,
Dad

Don't Look Away

Dear Joe,
I couldn't stop laughing when I saw this video. That poor guy is all of us.
Love,
Dad

The Lawyers' Party

Dear Joe,
Sam Banks sent me this email. Remember him? It represents one of the best analysis of our problems I have ever seen. Throw the rascals out.
Love,
Dad

---

The Lawyers' Party
by Bruce Walker

The Democratic Party has become the Lawyers Party .
Barack Obama is a lawyer.
Michelle Obama is a lawyer.
Hillary Clinton is a lawyer.
Bill Clinton is a lawyer.
John Edwards is a lawyer.
Elizabeth Edwards is a lawyer.
Every Democrat nominee since 1984 went to law school (although Gore did not graduate).
Every Democrat vice presidential nominee since 1976, except for Lloyd Bentsen, went to law school.

Old Fart Pride

Dear Joe,
Is the phrase "old fart" still around. Don't let my grandson see this email. He's got too much bathroom humor already.
Love,
Dad

---

Old Fart Pride

Actually, it's not a bad thing to be called, as you will see. Old Farts are easy to spot at sporting events; during the playing of the Star Spangled Banner. Old Farts remove their caps and stand at attention and sing without embarrassment. They know the words and believe in them.

Canadian Tax Story

Dear Joe,
I received this from a Canadian friend I made on that Panama Canal cruise Mom and I took. Ed and I had a good time chuckling over the bureaucracies of our countries.
Love,
Dad

---

At the end of the tax year, Revenue Canada office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the auditor was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?"

Johns Hopkins Update

Dear Joe,
This is good information if used judiciously. My feeling is that some risk in life is necessary for happiness and good health, therefore, I refuse to cut out all sweets (especially ice cream), milk and meat.
Love,
Dad

---

AFTER YEARS OF TELLING PEOPLE CHEMOTHERAPY IS THE ONLY WAY TO TRY ('TRY', BEING THE KEY WORD) TO ELIMINATE CANCER, JOHNS HOPKINS IS FINALLY TELLING YOU THERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE WAY.

Pepsi - Italian Style

Dear Joe,
Wasn't this a Super Bowl commercial one year?
Love,
Dad

Rural Indiana Rules

Dear Joe,

I loved this email Bob Bankston sent me. Remember him? Make sure you tell the kiddos about rules 1 and 6. We need to get the whole country following those.

Love,

Dad

---

THE RULES OF RURAL INDIANA ARE AS FOLLOWS

Listen up City Slickers!

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.

The Doctor is In!

Dear Joe,
I got this today from a doctor friend of mine. I couldn't stop chuckling. Enjoy.
Love,
Dad

---

Relax!

Quit paying your insurance premiums. 

Free health care is here. 

The doctor will see you now.

Static Electricity

Dear Joe,

I know I'm always sending you funny emails but this one actually contains life saving information. I sent it to your sister and brother too. Please read this!

Love,

Dad

---

Safety Alert from Shell Oil!

Here's some reasons why we don't allow cell phones in operating areas, propylene oxide handling and storage area, propane, gas and diesel refueling areas.

The Shell Oil Company recently issued a warning after three incidents in which mobile phones (cell phones) ignited fumes during fueling operations

Church Bulletin Bloopers

Dear Joe,

I'm sure you've seen some of these church bulletin bloopers before but there are some new ones here as well. I remember you and Mom always looked for bloopers on Sunday morning before the service started.

Love,

Dad

---

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Robby's Night

Dear Joe,

This is a true story that Bob Simmons sent me. Do I need to tell you it's worth reading?

Love,

Dad

---

At the prodding of my friends, I am writing this story. My name is Mildred Hondorf. I am a former elementary school music teacher from Des Moines, Iowa . I've always supplemented my income by teaching piano lessons-something I've done for over 30 years. Over the years I found that children have many levels of musical ability. I've never had the pleasure of having a prodigy though I have taught some talented students.

However I've also had my share of what I call 'musically challenged' pupils. One such student was Robby.

Dog & Piglet Story

Dear Joe,

Dave Binder sent this my way. Here is another example of the wonders of nature.

Love,

Dad

---

A giant farm dog and a tiny piglet cuddle up as if they were family after the baby runt was dismissed by its own mother.

Surrogate mum Katjinga, an eight-year-old Rhodesian Ridgeback, took on motherly duties for grunter Paulinchen - a tiny pot-bellied pig - and seems to be taking the adoption in her stride.

Speech from Judge Napolitano

Dear Joe,
This is an important message all Americans should hear. I hope you have time today to watch/listen to this.
Love,
Dad

---

Andrew P. Napolitano is a 59 year old former New Jersey Superior Court Judge. He is a graduate of Princeton University, and Notre Dame Law School. At Princeton he was a founding member of the Concerned Alumni of Princeton along with Justice Samuel Alito.

Judge Napolitano is the youngest life-tenured Superior Court judge in the history of the State of New Jersey.

The Hexacopter

Dear Joe,
Check out this "hexacopter". I'm simultaneously awed by the almost spaceship-like contraption and befuddled by what purpose it could serve that a helicopter doesn't. See what you think.
Love,
Dad

Real-Life Jungle Book

Dear Joe,

I remember Disney's Jungle Book was one of the first, full-length movies you saw. It's always been a family favorite.

Love,

Dad

---

They make an unlikely trio, but Baloo the bear, Leo the lion, and Shere Khan the tiger have forged an unusually strong bond. Considering that they would be mortal enemies if they ever were to meet in the wild, it is stunning to see their unique and genuine friendship in these intimate pictures. Rescued eight years ago during a police drugs raid in Atlanta, Georgia, the three friends were only cubs at the time when they were barely two months old.

Coffee Filters

Dear Joe,

Coffee filters ..... who knew! Down at our Dollar Tree you can buy 1,000 for almost nothing, even the large ones.
Love,

Dad

---

Coffee filters are better than paper towels and a lot less expensive!

1. Cover bowls or dishes when cooking in the microwave. Coffee filters make excellent covers.

2. Clean windows, mirrors, and chrome ... Coffee filters are lint-free so they'll leave windows sparkling.

Change Your Viewpoint

Dear Joe,
This falls in the category of a picture paints a thousand words. Some of the pictures toward the end of the email are tough to look at but I'm still hoping you'll share this with the kiddos. They need to know how lucky they are.
Love,
Dad

---

If you think, you are unhappy .....

General Eisenhower Warned Us

Dear Joe,

Every year a number of my friends send me emails like this one to remember the holocaust. And each year one stands out more than any other. Here's this year's .....

Love,

Dad

---

General Eisenhower Warned Us

It is a matter of history that when the Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces, General Dwight Eisenhower, found the victims of the death camps he ordered all possible photographs to be taken, and for the German people from surrounding villages to be ushered through the camps and even made to bury the dead.

Moses and the Computer

Dear Joe,
I can't resist sending this "dialog" to you. I hope you get a chuckle like I did.

Love,

Dad

---

"Excuse me, Sir."

"Is that you again, Moses?"

"I'm afraid it is, Sir."

"What is it this time, Moses; more computer problems?"

Two Choices

Dear Joe,

Read this story then tell me: What would you do? Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. 

Love,

Dad

---

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

A Dog's Purpose (from a 6 Year-Old)

Dear Joe,
This is a sweet story. I remember how hard you took Digger's passing.

Love,

Dad

---

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

New CarJacking Scheme

Dear Joe,

Millie Smith sent this over to me yesterday. I'm forwarding it to everyone I know, especially my family.

Love,

Dad

---

Just last weekend on Friday night we parked in a public parking area. As we drove away I noticed a sticker on the rear window of the car. When I took it off after I got home, it was a receipt for gas. Luckily my friend told me not to stop as it could be someone waiting for me to get out of the car.

Then we received this email yesterday:

Sermon delivered by Rabbi Schlomo Lewis

Dear Joe,
This is rather long. I read it and I urge you all to read it through. It is very well written, interesting, thought provoking and passionate. I'll be interested to hear what you think.
Love,
Dad

---

EHR KUMT First Day of Rosh Hashanah 2010 Sermon delivered by Rabbi Schlomo Lewis of Atlanta

'EHR KUMT. YIDN FARLAWST AYER SHTETL - He's coming. Jews abandon your
city.' 

I thought long and I thought hard on whether to deliver the sermon I am about to share. We all wish to bounce happily out of shul on the High Holidays, filled with warm fuzzies, ready to gobble up our brisket, our honey cakes and our kugel. We want to be shaken and stirred - but not too much. We want to be guilt-schlepped - but not too much. We want to be provoked but not too much. We want to be transformed but not too much.

Little-Known 9/11 Story

Dear Joe,
It would be great to read "real" stories like this, rather than what the news media seems to dwell on these days. I get so tired of the sensationalist stories that run endlessly!

Love,

Dad

---

This is little-known story from the Pentagon on 09/11/2001:

During a visit with a fellow chaplain, who happened to be assigned to the Pentagon, I had a chance to hear a first-hand account of an incident that happened right after Flight 77 hit the Pentagon.

The chaplain told me what happened at a daycare center near where the impact occurred. This daycare had many children, including infants who were in heavy cribs. The daycare supervisor, looking at all the children they needed to evacuate, was in a panic over what they could do. There were many children, mostly toddlers, as well as the infants that would need to be taken out with the cribs. There was no time to try to bundle them into carriers and strollers.

Piss Poor?

Dear Joe,

I love finding out the history behind our phrases. Remember how Grandad used this phrase all the time when he'd take you and your brother out to check the fields? For the longest time you thought it was a swear word.
Love,

Dad

---

Where did Piss Poor come from?

They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery ..... if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor"

But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot . . . they "didn't have a pot to piss in" & were the lowest of the low.

Obama's Beach Blanket Recovery

Dear Joe,
This guy does a great job pointing out the hypocrisy of the liberal progressive media. See what you think.
Love,
Dad

C-130 into Bagdad

Dear Joe,

This is a fun read. This guy must have taken a creative writing class in college.

Love,

Dad

---

3rd MAW C-130 Pilot's Description of Approach into Baghdad.

This is a funny story particularly if you lust over mixed metaphors.
This is from a colorful writer from the 3rd Marine Air Wing based at MCAS Miramar:

"There I was at six thousand feet over central Iraq, two hundred eighty knots and we're dropping faster than Paris Hilton's panties. It's a typical September evening in the Persian Gulf; hotter than a rectal thermometer and I'm sweating like a priest at a Cub Scout meeting. But that's neither here nor there. The night is moonless over Baghdad tonight and blacker than a Steven King novel.

Clorox Vs Peroxide

Dear Joe,
I suggest you verify this before committing. A friend from Boston sent it to me.
Love,
Dad

---

This was written by Becky Ransey of Indiana (a doctor's Wife).

She was over recently for coffee and smelled the bleach I was using to clean my toilet and counter tops.

This is what she told me:

I would like to tell you of the benefits of that Plain little ole bottle of 3% peroxide you can get for under $1.00 at any drug store. What does bleach cost?

Lesson from the Donkey

Dear Joe,

Be sure to read the end of the story. If you clean up the language then this is a good story to share with the kiddos.

Love,

Dad

---

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

Differences Between Jews and Muslims

Dear Joe,

I thought you would be interested in reading this. What a contrast!
Love,

Dad

---

Regardless of your feelings about the crisis between Israel and the Palestinians and Arab neighbors, even if you believe there is more culpability on Israel 's part, the following two sentences really say it all:

'If the Arabs put down their weapons today, there would be no more violence. If the Jews put down their weapons today, there would be no more Israel'.
-Benjamin Netanyahu

The Bear Film

Dear Joe,
This is an incredible, must see film. It might be the best animal video of 2009 I've seen.
Love,
Dad

Gene Simmons Military Tribute

Dear Joe,
This military salute from KISS is VERY COOL. Turn your speakers on!
Love,
Dad

One Pound Deer

Dear Joe,
This email is about a one pound deer. Wait until you see how beautiful he is. Kinda makes your day doesn't it?
Love,
Dad

---

This tiny deer was delivered by Caesarean section at a Wildlife hospital after a car killed his mother.

Little Rupert, who is so small he can fit in an adult's hand, was born after vets failed in their battle to save his mother.

63 Years Later

Dear Joe,

This is worth passing along. I wonder how many of us would be able to endure this kind of torture? I pray we never have to find out.

Love,

Dad

---

The  prize doesn't always go to the most deserving ... Irena Sendler

There recently was a death of a 98 year-old lady named  Irena. During WWII, Irena, got permission to  work in the Warsaw Ghetto, as a Plumbing/Sewer specialist. She had  an 'ulterior motive' ... She KNEW what the  Nazi's plans were for the Jews, (being German.)  Irena smuggled infants out in the bottom of the  tool box she carried and she carried in the back  of her truck a burlap sack, (for larger kids.)